$gBTCGreen Bitcoin
is the future.
It's green because
fuck you higher
Why $gBTC?
Everything you liked about Bitcoin. Nothing you hated.
Liquidity burned
LP tokens torched on day one. No rug pull, no soft pull, no medium-rare pull. Just a chart.
Memetoshi's dev bag
Dev has 5.22% like Satoshi Nakamoto — the exact slice Satoshi holds of all Bitcoin.
Fair launched on pump.fun
No presale. No VC discount. No allocation for your favorite influencer's burner wallet. You get in like everyone else.
Faster TXs
Settles in 400ms. Your espresso isn't even out of the grinder yet.
Lower gas
Pennies, not paychecks. Send your friend $5 without paying $5 to send it.
Lower energy
1.4 million times less juice per tx than BTC. Green because eco-friendly. Green because it pumps.
Bitcoin scares normies. $gBTC doesn't.
Most people who've never bought crypto don't know they can buy 0.0001 of a coin. They hear $100k and bounce. Unit price > math, every time.
how a normie hears it
"1 BTC = $100,000"
→ "I can't afford Bitcoin."
(They don't know you can buy $20 worth. Nobody told them. The unit price did all the talking.)
"1 $gBTC = $0.01"
→ "Sick, I'll grab 10,000."
Same $100. Whole coins. Brain unlocked. Buying pressure follows.
the math (it's the same)
More units, lower unit price. Market cap is identical. Welcome to fifth-grade arithmetic.
Supply
21M
BTC
×
—
unit price
= mcap
—
BTC
Supply
1.000B
$gBTC
×
—
unit price
= mcap
—
same
tl;dr — splitting a pizza into more slices doesn't make the pizza bigger or smaller. It just lets more people grab a whole slice instead of arguing over crumbs.
BTC vs $gBTC.
Same scarcity. Different decade. We did the homework.
sources: bitcoin.org, solana foundation energy report, ccri 2023. fees approximate, vary with congestion.
Get your green laser eyes.
Upload a pfp, drag the two lasers onto your eyes, download. Welcome to the cult.
// resize lasers
A short history of green money.
Bitcoin proved the idea. Solana made it fast. $gBTC made it green.
2009
Satoshi mines block 0
Bitcoin is born. Peer-to-peer cash. Beautiful idea. Then it grew up, got slow, got expensive, and started eating small countries' worth of electricity.
2011
Satoshi leaves
"I've moved on to other things." The community kept the chain alive. The chain kept the lasers red.
read the last public message2026
memetoshi yakavenko wakes up
Same idea. Different chain. 1,000,000,000 $gBTC minted on Solana via pump.fun. Liquidity burned. Dev has 5.22% like Satoshi Nakamoto — 52 millions $gBTC, the exact slice Satoshi holds of all Bitcoin. This is what Satoshi Nakamoto should've done from the start.
now
the cult takes it from here
No roadmap. No CEO. Just a community, a green laser, and a chain fast enough for the meme to actually settle. Print value out of thin air. The way Satoshi would have, if Satoshi had Solana.
Scarce. Fast. Cheap. Green.
Memetoshi's bag mirrors Satoshi's. The cult does the rest.
coded. — memetoshi yakavenko
If you sent 5,000 transfers…
$10.0k
vs ~$2.00 per BTC tx
34.7 days
waiting for confirmations
3.50M kWh
≈ 333.3 US homes / year
assumptions: btc $2 fee · 10 min finality · 700 kWh/tx — solana $0.00025 fee · 400ms · 0.0005 kWh/tx.
Two cults. One is up only.
The Red Cult
laser eyes since 2021
- 10-minute blocks
- $5 to send $5
- powered by a coal plant
The Green Cult
laser eyes since 2026
- 400ms blocks
- fractions of a cent
- powered by chlorophyll
No whitepapers. No roadmap. No CEO. Just a green laser, a fast chain, and a chart that keeps printing while the other side argues about block size.
Join the green cult